Being a Friend
- "To support a person with facial difference, look them in the eyes and smile at them."
- Invite your classmate or friend with a facial difference to join you in regular activities with friends and family.
- Before offering food or treats, ask them what they like or what they can have.
- Listen to what they say.
- If you want to ask them them questions about what's wrong, first ask if it is alright to ask questions.
- If you aren't sure how to act around them, ask them what is OK.
- Treat your classmate or friend with a facial difference the same way you would like to be treated.
- Remember to smile when you look at them and talk with them!
Helping Children Make Friends
- Help children practice social skills, such as appropriate questioning, complimenting, and listening.
- Partner with other parents to provide transportation for after-school events and activities.
- Work with schools to prevent and limit bullying and teasing.
- Provide and encourage opportunities for integrated activities, for children with or without disabilities or differences.
- Encourage children to ask parents or teachers about what makes people different, and what people have in common.
- Help children do research to answer their own questions about other's difference, and discuss with them what they learn.
Resources Consulted in Writing
For Patients, Parents, Friends and Kids4Girls.gov: Illness and Disability - One of my friends has an illness or disability: http://www.4girls.gov/disability/friends.htm
Abide: Illness Etiquette II ~ How to visit a sick friend: http://abide.sbpoet.com/2006/09/illness_etiquet.html
APA Help Center - Featured Topics - "Resilience Guide"
Good Character: Teaching Guide: Being Friends, for grades K-5:
Kidshealth.org: Dealing with a Serious Illness: Advice from Grant:
Lutfiyya, Zana Marie. The Importance of Friendships Between People With and Without Mental Retardation: http://thechp.syr.edu/relshp.htm> OR <http://www.thearc.org/faqs/friend.html
So Close: How to be Good Friends with an Infertile: http://tertia.typepad.com/so_close/2004/05/how_to_be_good_.html
United Spinal Association: Disability Etiquette (by Judy Cohen): http://www.unitedspinal.org/disability-publications-resources/disability-publications/
For Health Care Providers
Beaune L, Forrest CR, Keith L. Adolescents' perspectives on living and growing up with Treacher Collins syndrome: a qualitative study. Cleft Palate Craniofac J. 2004 Jul;41(4):343-50.
Center for Human Policy: Publications and Resources: Friendships / Relationships: http://thechp.syr.edu/friend.htm
Cook, Jonathan. Facilitating Friendships for Children with Disabilities. Focal Point 15(2) Fall, 2001: http://www.rtc.pdx.edu/FPinHTML/FocalPointFA01/pgFPfa01FriendFacil.shtml
Haring TG, Breen CG. A peer-mediated social network intervention to enhance the social integration of persons with moderate and severe disabilities. J Appl Behav Anal. 1992 Summer; 25(2): 319-333. http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?tool=pubmed&pubmedid=1634425
Lyons, Renee. Personal Relationships, Illness, and Disability. Journal of Leisurability 26(3) Summer 1999: http://www.lin.ca/resource/html/Vol26/V26N3A3.htm
Schleien, Stuart; Green, Frederick; Stone, Charlsena. Making Friends Within Inclusive Community Recreation Programs Journal of Leisurability 26(3) Summer 1999: http://www.lin.ca/resource/html/Vol26/V26N3A4.htm